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Monday, December 02, 2002
Camping News
I ripped this article out of the newspaper almost 3-4 years ago. I've had it posted in my room for a while, and still makes me laugh when I read it. Although camping season is done for SOME, these are still some good tips to keep in mind:
- In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilerness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
- The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
- A large carp can be used for a pillow.
- Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn camping. Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in stream."
- The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a blad man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
- It's entirely possible to spent your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.
- Effective Jan. 1, 1998, you actually have to enlist in the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.
- In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.
- You can compress the diameter of your rolled-up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
- Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other eat, do not go into the woods alone.
- A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish; a potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
- You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.
- Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzle country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
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by Unknown on 7:24 PM
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